Thursday, March 6, 2014

No More Bomb Throwing

To Whom It May Concern,
Stop it. Just stop it.  I am so tired of the acrimony, name calling and hatefulness from both sides of the so called marriage equality issue.  Using hurtful, offensive or angry words and displaying such malice in your comments and actions only hurts your cause.  I have seen examples lately in social media like this ---
"...take that all you self righteous, bible thumping, chest beating apes!"
Now, what did that accomplish? How did this comment do anything to further your position, belief or argument?  The other side is probably just as bad, although they are not quite as vocal around here about their position.  And it seems their opposition to marriage equality is largely based on religious beliefs.  That's fine.  I respect that. Both sides have every right to their beliefs, and the right to assemble, protest peacefully, lobby, debate and try to change the things they think need changing.  But, please, do it in a way that doesn't insult, demean or belittle others.  Is that so much to ask?

Personally, I don't understand the problem.  Love is an emotion. A feeling. You can't just make it go away.  Two people, any two people, who love each other should be able to get married.  Or not get married.  It should be their choice.  How does that decision affect the health or well being of anyone who is opposed to it?  This comment made by a friend of mine on a social media site seems to put it in perspective quite well ---
"Every person deserves equality in all their rights...regardless of who they love. Isn't that what we are here to do is love one another?? How can that be wrong or judged when it is in fact the most powerful and positive energy there is...regardless of who is loving who! Life is way too short to be anything but happy. Make your memories good ones. We are here to make it the most amazing journey we can for ourselves and others. Be Kind and Love One Another. Simple."

Then there's this from Ellen ---
"Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don't think we hurt anyone else's marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they're fine. - See more at: http://perezhilton.com/2013-03-06-ellen-degeneres-supreme-court-brief-marriage-equality#sthash.wmftDrIo.dpuf
"Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don't think we hurt anyone else's marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they're fine. - See more at: http://perezhilton.com/2013-03-06-ellen-degeneres-supreme-court-brief-marriage-equality#sthash.wmftDrIo.dpuf
"Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don't think we hurt anyone else's marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they're fine. - See more at: http://perezhilton.com/2013-03-06-ellen-degeneres-supreme-court-brief-marriage-equality#sthash.BhWndcb2.dpuf
“Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine.” 

Nothing like a little humor from Ellen to make a point.  I guess that's really what this essay is about ... there's a better way to make your point.  Be firm, but be kind.  Have conviction, but also have compassion.  And if you want to win friends and influence people - stop throwing bombs.  Please.

Roger O'Dea    3/6/2014

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