Alice's Garden (A True Story)

 WITH APOLOGIES TO ARLO GUTHRIE

This is a story called Alice's Garden, and it's about me and my friend Alice. But Alice is not the name of my friend. That's just the name of the garden. I changed her real name to protect her innocence, and that's why I call this story Alice's Garden.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Garden
Walk right over it's easily found
Just a short stroll from the Round-Up Ground
You can get anything you want at Alice's Garden 

Now it all started over 40 years ago, it was over 40 years ago in the summer when my friend and I decided to start a garden in our town. But it wasn't actually in town, it was on the edge of town, by the river. So we took some shovels and rakes and other implements of destruction and put them in the back of a red 1963 Chevy Impala and went to work digging up the ground and planting vegetables. Well somebody saw us working in the garden and called the cops because they thought we were planting marijuana down there by the river, but we weren't. We were planting carrots. And peas. And radishes. Carrots and peas and radishes right there in that garden! But nobody got to enjoy the harvest because we had to abandon the garden due to the fact that the rumor spread and some people thought a couple of hippies were trying to grow an illegal substance in their little town.

But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about a wreck. It happened a couple of years later on New Year's Eve when a bunch of us were at a party and found out just a few minutes before midnight that some girls were at another party in another part of town and wanted to come to our party. So I volunteered to get in my car and go get them to bring them to our party. I raced across town, picked up the girls, and was racing to make it back before midnight when the car hit an ice patch, spun around and crashed head-on into a telephone pole in front of a church. Nobody was hurt, except the car. Somebody saw the accident and called the cops (again) and soon Officer Franke showed up. Officer Franke looked at the car. Then he looked at the telephone pole. Then he looked at the car again. Then he said, "What happened, Rog?" (He knew my name from some previous encounters).  I said, "Officer Franke, I cannot tell a lie, I swerved to miss a deer." He said, "You swerved to miss a deer...at midnight...on New Year's Eve...in the middle of town?" I said, "Yes sir." He said, "Well, alright then, I'll call the tow truck and in the meantime can I take you all to where you were going?" So we all got in the police car and were dropped off at the party. A few of the cops would cut a kid some slack back then. No ticket required. None given.

So if you want to let kids be kids and encourage cops to give a break once in a while...all you have to do is walk up to a cop and sing You can get anything you want at Alice's Garden. If just one person does this they'll think he's sick and leave him alone. And if two people do it, in harmony, they might think it's an organization. And if 50 people walk up to a cop and sing one line of Alice's Garden...well friends, they may think it's a movement. And that's what it is, the Alice's Garden Anti-Massacree Movement. And all you got to do to join is just sing it anytime you get the feeling. Here comes the feeling -

You can get anything you want at Alice's Garden
Walk right over it's easily found
Just a short stroll from the Round-Up Ground
You can get anything you want at Alice's Garden 

Da da da da da da da dum

 Roger O'Dea   3-28-15

**Footnote - "Alice" is in this class reunion photo...but that's the only clue you get.